#2 iui after 1st fail and miscarriage

6 months ago I had my iui and tiny sprout can't survived till week 6. This time around I allow doctor to sent the embryo for gene test to ensure baby is healthy. After one month, the baby shown perfectly healthy and is a baby girl. Trust me. Even doctor couldn't explain why does it happened. The only condition he saw was contraction during pregnancy, which probably the next thing have to take note on. As usual, I underwent 2 weeks of confinement, and on 18 March 2016 I restarted the process again.

I did not went thru any clomic self trial this time, but straight to iui process. Same process wouldn't want to repeat like an old grandmother, after all the injection, medication and today I tested it negative. I don't even see a single light line AT ALL. Realised that having a BFN is much disappointed than anything else. Is totally a lose of hope, can't do anything but cry throughout the night and fell asleep. It is by hope that AF comes soon and smooth, and allow me to restart the process again.

Hubby consoled me that we knew iui doesn't mean success. We can always try again, but in fact, I felt myself as failure. How could I even lose my battle under iui processes. It means my womb getting weak n weaker. Couldn't even hold an embryo with me. What I did wrong, I need to went thru such punishment, I can't have my own healthy baby. I would have do anything to have one of my own. But God knows, how long they want to keep me waiting and punish me in pain.

I have nothing I wish but my own baby. When the wish will be granted?

Crying badly at my own light.

😢😢😢😢😢😢